Before The Bombs

May 17, 2023 • By Jason Elhilow

DescriptionBefore The Bombs chronicles the thirty-year journey of humanity told via journal entries as it falls into conflict and, eventually, nuclear war.

MessageBefore The Bombs contains content some may find triggering. Reader discretion is advised.

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Original Story - 1 Of 1 • 4,000 Words

The PrefaceEntry 1 - March 13, 2020Entry 2 - May 17, 2020Entry 3 - December 15, 2020Entry 4 - March 13, 2021Entry 5 - August 8, 2021Entry 6 - September 7, 2021Entry 7 - January 1, 2022Entry 8 - June 28, 2022Entry 9 - June 23, 2025Entry 10 - April 17, 2028Entry 11 - November 8, 2030Entry 12 - August 9, 2031Entry 13 - February 28, 2033Entry 14 - May 22, 2038Entry 15 - September 12, 2042Entry 16 - July 4, 2045Entry 17 - January 6, 2047Entry 18 - August 12, 2048Entry 19 - December 24, 2049Entry 20 - March 1, 2050The End

The Preface

Far too often, the end is shown as if nothing can ever follow it. Even more rarely, is it seen to be a force of good.Yet it is in the most dire moments, in those times when everything is lost, that are we finally aware of what we truly have.Only then do we understand that nothing is truly gone. The cycle continues, the universe remains, life persists.No matter what is found, no matter what happens, no matter what seems real or true, one fact remains: there is no end to your story. There is no end to our story.There is power in loss. Each generation grows from the last: from their triumphs and pitfalls. From their failures.The "end" can be a curse. It can be a blessing.Let it be a lesson.That is the good.

Entry 1 - March 13, 2020

It’s happening. I’m pretty sure it’s happening, and I’m not sure what to do. I just dug this thing out of my backpack, cause I guess I won’t be needing it for the next week or so. The Coronavirus, or COVID-19, or whatever its called. Who cares? Something’s happening in the world, and I need to write about it. No better time to start a journal than a Goddamn global crisis.Literally today, in school, they were telling us about how the school “wasn’t going to shut down;” how we’re “safe” from it. Such BS. I thought about wearing a mask for the past month, and stopped giving people high-fives or handshakes weeks ago. Bunch of liars. We just got an email telling us we won’t have school as they “figure out the next steps.” They say it’s only for a little while, to think of it as a little vacation. I sure hope so. I really do. But it just feels like the end of the world.

Entry 2 - May 17, 2020

It’s my birthday. And we’re even more doomed. How fun! Can I see my friends? Nope. My family? Nope. My father? Kind of, if we want to skirt a few rules. Divorced parents, so fun!Things are definitely… interesting. Why else would I be writing in this stupid thing? From now on this will be where I can talk about things in a pissy manner and no one can complain about it.I turned fourteen today. “Yay. Great,” he says in a sarcastic tone. Getting a cake was a bit hard. Let’s just say it’s not an essential food. I’m surprised there aren’t ration stamps at this point. Toilet paper is hard to get. The stores are a mess of guidelines with greedy bastards taking everything they can, everyone else be damned.

Entry 3 - December 15, 2020

It’s almost Christmas, and I just can’t take it anymore. I thought things were already bad, but the longer the world around me goes on, the worse it gets. Like WTF?School is a pile of nothing right now. I’m actually writing this in class while watching a movie. That’s how bad things are. And the Goddamn teachers can’t even tell. Here’s a good tip for online learning: keep your camera off but do the work. As long as you are turning things in, they don’t care. Plus, it’s not like they can do anything about it.Politics are dumb, too. Everything's divided. No one can agree on what's fact or fiction, right or wrong. And I don't think it's helping the pandemic that's happening. That's for sure.

Entry 4 - March 13, 2021

It’s been one year. ONE YEAR. Some restrictions have risen, and they said they will start this “hybrid” learning thing in school, but it’s all bullshit. The death tolls are in the hundreds of thousands already worldwide, and there seems to be no end.How the hell is a kid supposed to live in all of this? I cut all my friends off at this point, though it’s not like I had many to begin with. All this damn pandemic thing has done is make an already antisocial kid even more antisocial. Quite a bad deal, if you ask me.Nothing is getting better. Mom’s working her ass off to support us. But the prices down here on the Cape aren’t lowering, that’s for sure. But we’ve just got to stick together.

Entry 5 - August 8, 2021

What the hell! What the actual hell? I’m being forced back to school now. What the hell! For a year and a half, I have been stuck at home, initially by force and eventually by choice, and NOW you are making me go back in! I don’t even know what going to school is like anymore. How do you socialize? What will going on the bus be like? How has everything changed? How have I changed? I doubt it will all be the same as it was in middle school. And, yeah, that’s how long it’s been. I started this journey in seventh grade, and am now going into ninth. NINTH! Too much, so much, has happened. The virus is still going around. Everyone is angry at each other. There was a Goddamn insurrection (or "peaceful protest," depending on who you ask) at the Capitol Building earlier this year.I don’t know what is going on anymore. I just hope I can keep it together. No longer can I stay protected from the world behind a computer screen. And no one else can, either.

Entry 6 - September 7, 2021

Just got home. It was the first day. My first day of school, practically ever. I felt like I was in sixth grade again, or, for anyone who has never switched schools, kindergarten. And that’s a rather terrible feeling. The two biggest things I have learned are to have a version of your schedule at all times and to know room numbers by heart. That’s the only way I got around then, and the only way I got around today.No one remembered me. No one, not even my old friends, noticed my re-existence. I mean, to them, I disappeared for almost two years, and I feel the same way. I don’t know who they are anymore, and they don’t know me. It's like the world stopped, and is only getting going yet again now. The best plan of action is to stay away from everyone and isolate. Even with a mask, I can still catch that damn disease or whatever the hell it is. I’ve avoided it this long, and it WON’T get me anytime soon.

Entry 7 - January 1, 2022

I’ve warmed up a bit. School’s been going for a few months now, and it’s gotten better. The world's still shit, but I’m doing better. I feel better. We’re just about to come out of Winter Break, the New Year rolling in. I’m writing this at midnight, funnily enough.I’ve got some friends now, kind of. Two of them are from middle school. Yeah, I was finally able to reconnect with some of them, which is pretty cool. But I’ve also gained another one this year, in an unexpected turn of events. Socially speaking, these are some giant leaps.But that's not too important. I mean, it is, but writing about that is cringy. Though, writing about writing about it is not much better. Nor is writing about writing about writing about it. I think my point is made.I’ve been doing good in English and taking a journalism class as well. This writing thing has really begun to rub off on me. An article here, a poem there, and boom, you're a full-blown author!Also, who the hell is the audience for this journal? Me in the future? Probably. My kids? Ha, I doubt it. Some alien society examining Earth and realizing there was once life on it? Definitely. Things are becoming increasingly like a South Park or Family Guy episode every day, the comicality of life coming right through. I wouldn't be surprised if this was all one big story, one being's hand guiding the very fabric of the freaking universe. Or I could still be recovering from quarantine. Isolation made everyone go a bit crazy.

Entry 8 - June 28, 2022

It’s the last day of school. I’m not even joking. Like, somehow, I have survived most of a pandemic AND an entire school year. That’s impressive. Things seem to be fairly consistent now. I’ve got a good group I hang out with, my grades are on the up and up, and things are generally good, even in the world. There’s been some tension between NATO and Russia due to the invasion of Ukraine, but I doubt that thing will last much longer. I mean, it can’t, right? Aren't we a bit beyond that as a species, especially after a pandemic? I think we are. And, I mean, The President is signing so many damn bills to send money over there. If only he could do that to lower the price of gas.

Entry 9 - June 23, 2025

Uh, how do I put this? I forgot about this old thing. Note to self: don’t put things in drawers you never open. But, yeah, I’ve graduated now. I’m going to college.There are so many strange things in this book. Little details, dramatic descriptions, exaggerated feelings. I really thought it was going to be the end of the world! Was it really that abysmal? And South Park, really? I’m not that much older, but man, I was weird.This is definitely an interesting world to be going to adulthood with. I mentioned Ukraine in the last entry, and let me say, it’s gotten worse. Russia won. I’m not even sure how. And now they’ve banded together with China, Belarus, and North Korea to create a new organization. It’s called OCEA, meaning Organization of Central and Eastern Asia. A bit strange, but whatever. Let’s just say things are heating up, and I’m not excited to hear the conversations about it when Thanksgiving comes around.

Entry 10 - April 17, 2028

Things are not good right now. Still in college. But, uh, I’m regretting turning twenty-one. I think war is starting. Scratch that; I know war is starting. OCEA invaded Japan and South Korea earlier this week, and it looks like their next target is India. Shit’s not looking good. NATO leaders are in talks to put a protective border around Eastern Europe. I normally don’t pay attention to politics, but I’m worried.Right now, the temperature is hotter than ever for the middle of April. Some blame global warming, and I’m beginning to see why. It should not be 120° Fahrenheit in Massachusetts for 8 days straight. That’s freaking hot. And funnily enough, Arizona is being blanketed in snow right now! How? I don’t know. Not even my weatherman seems to understand it, and I’ve been watching that dude since I was five.

Entry 11 - November 8, 2030

Prices are through the roof. It reminds me of 2020. People are raiding shelves again. I moved in with my dad just to avoid paying the rent right now. Things are falling and falling really hard.OCEA’s Kremlin has announced that they’ve successfully taken over Australia. My brother was drafted to fight there. He’s gone. But we don't even have his body. They take all the dead from the battlefield and use them for... something. No one knows what, exactly, but it makes it hard to have closure.The world is pretty much going to be split in two. NATO is changing its name to ARCADIA and taking over power from each individual nation. I don’t even know what half of these shitty acronyms mean anymore; all I understand is that the US is now a state of some massive multinational organization. But in reality, this is all just fun names for killers and warmongers.Graduated college. Met a girl there. She’s nice, really nice. Her name’s Autumn. I think I’m finally in love (I’ve never loved before). I don’t know what to do. What should I do? I’m scared, poor, and in love. The American Dream, am I right? Or, I guess, the ARCADIAN Dream?

Entry 12 - August 9, 2031

Put the ring on her finger. I did it last night. On her birthday, too. We’re just too happy together. Her ring was not diamond, as there are no more available to the public. They’re being used by the military for a superweapon or something. The damn thing was just a plain gold ring.Talking about the world, things are VERY apocalyptic. I don’t know if I, in good conscience, can bring kids into this world. Twenty-five years old and I already have to think about that. It’s a bit scary. I just have this feeling that the world will not get better. I’m actually still rooming with my dad (Autumn hates me for that).OCEA is now OCEANIA. They’ve practically colonized the entirety of Asia and Australia. Europe and North America have strengthened their alliance. South America is trying to join ARCADIA. Africa seems to be the only continent left that hasn’t taken sides or been taken. But I’m not sure how long that is going to last.

Entry 13 - February 28, 2033

Goddamn it. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m having a kid. Oh, for the love of God, I’m having a kid. I probably should have paid a bit more attention in health class.I’m not ready for fatherhood. I’m still barely ready for adulthood. It was only a few years ago when I thought the end of the world was near. Maybe I was right. For all the good that has come, there has been so much bad. Almost too much bad.There has been talk of peace treaties between ARCADIA and OCEANIA. Both sides are hurting more than they'll admit. We’re practically in a war of attrition right now. It’s like WWII mixed with the Cold War mixed with the fact that both sides have more nuclear weapons than they know what to do with. And now I’m meant to bring a child into this world!I love Autumn, I love the idea of having a son or daughter, but I hate the world right now. She’s actually out right now with a bunch of her other barely pregnant friends. The government really doesn’t want us to have kids, but they can’t force us not to (for now). I just hope our rations can stretch for a third mouth to feed.

Entry 14 - May 22, 2038

Left it in a drawer again. I’ve got a wife, kid, and house… well, apartment… well, a place to live. Everything is hard to come by. Poor Noah. Oh, yeah, my son's name is Noah. It’s a bit Biblical, I know, and I'm not particularly into Eden and all of that, but it was Autumn's father’s, and he died from COVID back in 2021.I’m not sure where life is going right now. I’ve got this quote stuck in my head. It’s from Einstein, I think. “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." Shit, if that does not strike fear into you, I don’t know what would. I feel like that is exactly where we are going right now. The Earth is literally in half, and the sticks and stones are becoming ever closer.

Entry 15 - September 12, 2042

Is the world stable? No. Is my family stable? No. Am I stable? God no. I won’t lie, I haven’t eaten in 3 days. Been giving it to Noah and Autumn.In a speech mirroring President Kennedy’s back in the ’60s, the ARCADIAN "president" John Oswald announced something insane: we are going to race OCEANIA to Pluto. We are sending two of our own out there to beat their ass. And they are doing the same, drafting anyone with the slightest semblance of qualification. Though I doubt those astronauts will come back. Thank God I miss that mark, my medical history not meeting their strict quota, but for the ones who don’t, my condolences. It seems that the world is actively shitting itself.I’d say money is tight, but there is no money. Everything, and I mean everything, is going to or will go toward the war effort. Food, water, wood, plastic, metal; you name it, and it's out there on the frontline, probably lodging itself into someone as I write. Right now the fight is concentrated around The Congo. The Americas and Europe against Russia, the entire continent of Asia, and colonized Australia, fighting in the middle of Africa. History's gone almost full circle, beautiful lives ending in the birthplace of humanity. It's all for land, for resources, for exploitation, for ego, and the common man is suffering at the center of it.

Entry 16 - July 4, 2045

I’m just sitting on the couch crying, just as I did in the pandemic, missing something. I don’t know what. I have love, I have education, but outside of that, I have nothing. No one has anything. Curfews are in place now. Noah can’t go to school anymore. I live in the Goddamn United States of America, and my child can not go to school! You see how it failed us all the way back in 2020? Are you that idiotic enough to do it again? Oh, the all-encompassing ARCADIA is here to save my day? Stop the shit. There is no news, just lies. There is no food, just hunger. Each year they grow more and more crops to feed hungry soldiers, sucking nutrients out of every square inch of soil they plow, yet "We The People" live either in a fiery hell or a cold one, covered either in soot or rain, starvation and malnutrition taking over. You can't even let your kids play in the snow anymore, because it's impossible to tell if it's that or your neighbor's ashes.Mom’s house got washed away. The Cape is finally beginning to flood. They say that what was supposed to happen in two hundred years is happening in the span of twenty. It’s all gone.Noah’s now what, like nine? Damn. NINE! I mean, I’m only getting older as well. Though this is not the world I want to get old in. It’s barely one I want to die in. I would never go happy if I knew this was what was being left behind. That is, if there’s any world left.

Entry 17 - January 6, 2047

“ARCADIAN Space Agency Director Geo Oswald announces today that lead engineer of The Crunch Initiative Claren Smith will be teamed with botanist and pilot Tim Buchanan as Arcadia’s brave astronauts going to the outer Solar System.”That was what I was greeted with this morning. We all were, actually. It was put on every channel in the known universe. OCEANIA has yet to say anything, though it is suspected their selections have been made and are in active training.I’m sure those two men are shills, scared shitless, or both. Not sure. Even though they were drafted, I think their families are getting “compensation;" an eye for an eye, you know. It's probably like one extra ration a week or something. I know I would do anything to let my family live a slightly better life. Luckily, when your job is a journalist, you don’t run the risk of being forced into space. That is, not yet. But you are tasked to tell some of the most heinous lies I’ve ever seen. Maybe I’m the shill?

Entry 18 - August 12, 2048

I don’t even know who I am, where I live, what my purpose is. I work my ass off in a factory every day making shells for the military. I wasn’t even fired as a journalist. I literally got escorted out along with a dozen others at my office and told to never show our faces again. The top 1% sit high on their pedestals, not having to endure a second of the pain we do, demanding what we do and where we work. Bastards.Autumn is trying to homeschool Noah, but it’s not going well. As he’s gotten older, I've noticed something off about how he learns. We can’t afford to bring him to a doctor or get him analyzed, so who knows? Maybe I’m reading into things a bit too hard. If I were a kid right now, I would just want to cause trouble and be with friends. Who the hell wants to sit down and learn when you know that the end could be around the corner? I was right all those years ago about not wanting to bring a child into this world. It just hurts that it’s worse now.

Entry 19 - December 24, 2049

Apparently, it’s Christmas. There’s no snow. Not sure how, but it’s almost 130 degrees out. I’m not kidding. Everything’s burning. People are hungry. Soldiers line every street in every town in every state and nation across ARCADIA. Walk outside and you're dead, from either heat or bullets. For all the wishes I have made on Christmas, this is the one time I need them to come true. For Autumn, for Noah, and, for the love of God, myself.

Entry 20 - March 1, 2050

I don’t think we have long. Those Tim and Claren bastards stopped communicating with ARCADIAN control; something knocked their ship out. They are not on any sensors anymore, only the OCEANIC craft. Our government is screaming at theirs, and thanks to the terms of the deal, if they make it first to Pluto, we’re gone. But if there was foul play, they're gone. I suspect we're all going. Hands are poised over big red buttons, and who’s going to punch it first, no one knows. But I know something’s wrong; we all do. And all we have left is fear.I’m not going to work anymore. If these are our last days, we need to be together. I can’t let my kid know this is it, but I want to be with him if it is. This is just so effed up, man. In two weeks, no, two days, our world could be a fireball. And no one would know until those sirens sound. But by then, it’s too late.I don’t give two shits about anything else right now: not this journal, not politics, not those astronauts. I’m going to shut the hell up and hug my family. This is the end. I’m pretty sure it’s happening. It’s happening.

The End

March 13, 2050, 7:38 a.m..."Sir, it's time. The bombs have been sent. We expect impact within minutes.""Status on the bunkers?""Almost full.""Do the civilians know?""The ARCADIAN Alert System has been turned on. They know what is coming.""I can't believe this is it. I can't believe we're the ones ending the Goddamn world.""Well, if those OCEANIC bastards never shot down the Discovery!""Kid, you know that's just hearsay, right? We have no idea if they did. But it did spin one hell of a story!""What are you talking about, Mr. President?""The ASA has intel that Buchanan and Smith were likely hit by rocks in The Belt. They're dead either way, but so is the OCEANIC team. It was all a decoy; no one was ever making it to Pluto. I just didn't expect the propaganda to actually lead to all of this!""Why are you telling me this?""It's the fucking end of the world! WE all knew it was coming. You may be the last to learn.""So it was all a lie?""The entire war was a lie! What were we even fighting over?""Democracy! Safety from the barbaric OCEANIA! Freedom!""Open your eyes, my boy. Did the people ever live such a life? Your parents, your friends? No!""This is a lot to take in.""You're not on Air Force One for nothing. Hey, can you get the little one here a drink. Something strong.""Right away," she responded."Anyway, when are these bombs dropping?"The assistant lightly gulped. "7:45.""Well, look at the time." He peered down at his diamond-encrusted watch. "In five, four, three, two, and..."The first bomb dropped. An OCEANIC city was obliterated in seconds.Three more nukes followed. Then ten. Then one hundred.Retaliation ensued.Every major center around the globe was destroyed in an hour. One. Single. Hour.Billions died in a fiery hell. Thousands of years of human history—gone.Once bustling cities were flattened; a once green Earth was now a wasteland.Life ceased to exist.The calm before the storm was a warning; everyone saw it, yet no one acted.But the human story will continue to live, its heart still beating out there. And perhaps, The End had not come. Maybe it was just a gateway to a new beginning….

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